Drawing Inspiration from the Proclamation and Sharing and Defending its Principles

“We call upon responsible citizens… everywhere to promote those measures designed to maintain and strengthen the family as the fundamental unit of society.”

Chapter 34 in the book Successful Marriages and Families, by Alan J. Hawkins, David C. Dollahite, and Thomas W. Draper, states that “every family of the earth is in need of the vital blessings that come from living proclamation principles” and that a belief in these principles “should motivate us not only to apply true principles to protect our own families, but it should also move us to share these principles with others”. This text also quotes Joseph Smith when he said that as we gain a witness of the truth, we will not be “content with blessing [our] family alone, but [range] through the whole world, anxious to bless the whole human race”. Sharing our knowledge of these principles of the Gospel of Jesus Christ fulfills our duty as a “responsible citizen” and a disciple of Christ “to promote those measures designed to maintain and strengthen the family as the fundamental unit of society” as the Proclamation states.

The Church was a great example of sharing Proclamation principles to the world when California ruled that same-sex marriage was legal. They became participants in sponsoring Proposition 8 that would amend that ruling and guarantee that only marriage between a man and a woman would be legal. It was our Church’s responsibility to promote Proposition 8 because as members, we are the messengers of the word of God and know the truthfulness of the Gospel. It’s our duty to share the knowledge we have and to do all we can to protect the sanctity of marriage. We know the family is central to Heavenly Father’s plan and that only marriage between a man and a woman is ordained of God. Proposition 8 was all about protecting and preserving traditional marriage and strengthening families, giving members of our Church the opportunity to stand up for everything they believe in.

President Boyd K. Packer said, “The Family: A Proclamation to the World… is scripture-like in its power… Read the proclamation… and you’ll find answers there. And the answers that are there are the answers of the Church”.

I have seen the truth to this as I have written these posts about the family unit and everything within. There is so much depth to these Proclamation principles that reaches deep down into every aspect of my life. There are answers and solutions within for every struggle that a family may face, and these answers come from the Gospel of Jesus Christ.

We are so fortunate to have a Prophet on the earth to lead, guide, and direct us during our life’s journey. A prophet has brought us to know the knowledge of the proclamation principles through direct revelation from God. Like President Packer stated, it is scripture. It holds powerful truth. The practice of living its principles brings eternal happiness and joy. It is the word of God on the earth. It is my duty- and yours- to share the knowledge we have gained from its teachings to the world around us.

This decoration I made for my home shows the prophets from Joseph Smith to Thomas S. Monson. It reminds my family and I to search out the words of the prophets and follow them. By doing so, we will be blessed for our obedience and be led on the path to eternal life.

*This post is all in reference to Chapters 33 and 34 of Successful Marriages and Families: Proclamation Principles and Research Perspectives, by Alan J. Hawkins, David C. Dollahite, and Thomas W. Draper (2012).

Equal Partnership between Men and Women in Families

“By divine design, fathers are to preside over their families in love and righteousness and are responsible to provide the necessities of life and protection for their families. Mothers are primarily responsible for the nurture of their children. In these sacred responsibilities, fathers and mothers are obligated to help one another as equal partners.”

God said, “I say unto you, be one; and if ye are not one ye are not mine” (D&C 38:27). The idea of being “one” is an eternal doctrine. God has commanded us to be united together in one heart and in one mind (Moses 7:18).

The first marriage that was performed on the earth, by God himself, is great for us to look to as an example of unity in marriage. Ezra Taft Benson said, “Adam and Eve provide us with an ideal example of a covenant marriage relationship. They labored together; they had children together; they prayed together; and they taught their children the gospel-Together. This is the pattern God would have all righteous men and women imitate”.

Adam and Eve were equal partners. In Elder Bruce C. Hafen’s talk titled “Crossing Thresholds and Becoming Equal Partners” he points out that Eve alone wasn’t the culprit to the fall. Eve took the first step, but Adam chose to stick by her side and partake of the fruit also because he knew that God intended for man and woman to be one in the Lord (1 Corinthians 11:11). Husbands and wives should show that same support and equality as partners just like Adam and Eve did. They did everything together.

Elder Hafen also pointed out in his talk that “no one has the right to define gender based roles”. Each couple has their own individual virtues and attributes that they put together in a way that fits in their marriage. The Proclamation is very clear in stating that husbands are to preside and lead the family. This doesn’t take away the equality from the partnership in marriage, but adds to it. President Joseph F. Smith said, “There is no higher authority in matters relating to the family organization, and especially when that organization is presided over by one holding the higher Priesthood, than that of the father”. He goes onto say that it isn’t the fact that fathers are more qualified than wives or that one is more worthy than the other when it comes to leading the family, but it’s a matter of law and order. Wives heed to the counsel of their husband for the same reason that members of the church heed to the counsel of the prophet. As the couple shares the responsibilities in their home- finding what works best in their marriage- and pray together often to strengthen their marriage and their family, they can be equal partners.

Elder Hafen’s states, “In the little kingdom of a family, each spouse freely gives something the other does not have and without which neither can be complete and return to God’s presence”.

I love how this quote talks about how husbands and wives have different talents and gifts which complement each other.  It’s cute that couples really do “complete” each other. When each individual completes their role in their marriage and family, things roll smoothly and every one feels equal. They feel like they are included and are helping their family in some big way. God didn’t give us gifts so that they are disregarded. As husbands and wives each do their part, the task will become easier and seem natural and they will find happiness in serving each other.

When I got married, I quickly realized how many important life-changing decisions had to be made as a couple. Our two individual lives suddenly became one and it didn’t take long for me to see how every choice I made directly affected my husband. Learning the desires and wishes that each other had in life and then combining it into one has greatly taught us how to compromise and think of each other rather than ourselves. As it says in D&C 38:27, we cannot be God’s if we are not one.

My husband and I got our wedding announcement framed along with our engagement picture. When I look at it I am reminded of the love we shared at the beginning of our marriage and compare that to the love we share now. We have really grown together as we have strove to become one with God and with each other.

*This post is all in reference to Chapter 4 of Successful Marriages and Families: Proclamation Principles and Research Perspectives, by Alan J. Hawkins, David C. Dollahite, and Thomas W. Draper (2012).

Additional Resources:

Crossing Thresholds and Becoming Equal Partners, by Elder Bruce C. Hafen

Equal Partnership in Marriage, by Valerie M. Hudson and Richard B. Miller

Unity, by Marion G. Romney 

Supporting Families across Generations

“Extended families should lend support when needed.”

We live in a time where the average person lives a longer, healthier life. This is such a blessing because children get to grow up with their parents and grandparents and have the opportunity and time to enjoy relationships with them for many years. Positive behaviors in children come as their grandparents are actively involved in their lives. “Children’s perceptions of emotional closeness to their grandparents is related to reduced acting-out behaviors, such as sexual promiscuity, drug abuse, and delinquency, and fewer symptoms of depression.” (Alan J. Hawkins, 2012)

I think it’s so important to have good relationships with extended family. Families should seek out opportunities to strengthen relationships with each other. Family members should be available to lend support when needed and provide care and love for each other. That’s what families are for. I cherish the relationships I have on both sides of my family. Each relationship has uniquely added a piece of who I am today and has taught me something about myself. They are a part of me. I learn so much from their life experiences and testimonies.

I am very close to my Grandpa Coy. Ever since I was little he would take me under his wing and show me the ropes of life. When he would visit, we were attached at the hip. One of my favorite things we would do together was when he would teach me how to build stuff with my dad in his shop. That was his favorite place to be and it quickly became mine. The time we spent together was very special. Every night before bed I would go into my Grandparent’s room and write a note to leave on their pillow which expressed my love for them. When it was time for them to drive back home, I would often sneak into their car and hide in the back seat because I didn’t want to leave them. They would find me within five minutes of driving, drive me back home, and give me an extra squeeze before driving away again. It became routine for them to check their car for grand-kids before leaving our house. My Grandpa was my greatest friend. Four years ago my Grandpa passed away and a year later my Grandma joined him. Although they are not here with me, I still feel of their love and support for me every day.

This is what I want for my children. I want them to have wonderful relationships with their Grandparents, Aunts, Uncles, Cousins, and other family members. It’s important for me to set time aside for my family to visit our relatives so that my kids will have opportunities to make good memories with their extended family and build relationships with them. If my parents hadn’t made time to take us to our Grandparent’s house, my relationship with my Grandpa most likely wouldn’t have been as strong.

It is also important for family to take care of disabled or elderly family members. President Ezra Taft Benson said, “We encourage families to give their elderly parents and grandparents the love, care, and attention they deserve. Let us remember the scriptural command that we must care for those of our own house lest we be found ‘worse than an infidel’ (1 Timothy 5:8)….If they become less able to live independently, then family, Church, and community resources may be needed to help them when the elderly become unable to care for themselves, even with supplemental aid, care can be provided in the home of a family member when possible”. 

I have seen great examples of such care in the homes of my husband’s family. His grandmother has Alzheimer’s disease and is unable to care for herself. She has lived in her oldest son’s home for them to take care of for six years. Although at times it has been burdensome and stressful on that household, they have the help and support of other family members and feel closer as a family by providing that service for their mother/grandmother. “Despite the demands of caregiving, this labor of love also brings significant blessings” (Alan J. Hawkins, 2012). To see what life is like in my husband's family's home, check out this video.

In order for my daughter to start building relationships with her extended family at a young age, I made her a book of all her family members. As she flips through the pages, she’ll see pictures of her family members and will be able to learn about them while they’re away. In this way she can remember who they are and that they love her even when they’re not around.

*This post is all in reference to Chapter 17 of Successful Marriages and Families: Proclamation Principles and Research Perspectives, by Alan J. Hawkins, David C. Dollahite, and Thomas W. Draper (2012).

Additional Resources:

Extending Family Relationships

Fundamentals of Enduring Family Relationships, by Ezra Taft Benson

Family Home Evening Lesson to teach the importance of the Extended Family
Living With Herbie (A video about caring for parents with Alzheimer’s)

Parenting in Gospel Contest: Practices Do Make a Difference

“Parents have a sacred duty to rear their children in love and righteousness, to provide for their physical and spiritual needs, to teach them to love and serve one another, to observe the commandments of God, and to be law-abiding citizens wherever they live.”

Becoming a parent is a wonderful blessing. The sacred duties that parents have to bear, raise, and teach their children are a privilege and a divine gift from God. An individual who takes part in this divine calling allows so much growth to take place. It allows them to become more like Heavenly Father by developing more Christ-like qualities, creating life and bringing children into the world, learning how to face challenges in life and learn from them, building upon their eternal family, and so much more. As we follow God’s plan for us we will always find growth and progression. Happiness comes as we are tried, tested, stretched, and molded into the person we are working to become. Parenthood is one way in which God gives us happiness in this life and the next.

The best approach in parenting is the Authoritative or Active approach. This approach can be compared to the way my friend thinks about parenthood. She said “It’s a lot like walking UP on a downward escalator.  We can't stop moving or we lose progress and we have to pick up the pace if we want to get ahead. It requires effort and hard work but it is worth it!” Being a parent is a lot of hard work and effort, but I agree that it is well worth it.

The Active approach is all about parents proactively teaching their children good values and principles to live by early on in their lives. It gives them a good foundation to grow upon and build their character. Parents create an environment for their kid that “promotes positive parent-child relationships and invites the spirit of the Lord” (Alan J. Hawkins, 2012).  Elder Robert D. Hales said “The key to strengthening our families is having the spirit of the Lord come into our homes”.  In this mortal life we find ourselves being pulled one way or another; towards God or towards Satan. Progressing or regressing. Remaining active is something that we need to do to find progress. Faith, for example, requires action in order to grow. The active parenting style similarly brings growth and progression to children as righteous principles and values are exercised in the home. President Boyd K. Packer reminds us that “it is a great challenge to raise a family in the darkening mists of our moral environment’” so without actively teaching young ones righteous principles and creating a good environment for them to learn and grow, our moral environment will naturally pull them the other way.

The proclamation teaches principles of love. It reads, “Husband and wife have a solemn responsibility to love and care for each other and for their children… parents have a sacred duty to rear their children in love and righteousness… to teach them to love and serve one another”.  This chapter states that “Success in family life is deemed to be grounded in honoring principles such as ‘forgiveness, respect, love, [and] compassion'” (Alan J. Hawkins, 2012). The principles found in the Proclamation are all about bringing the spirit into the home, strengthening relationships, and rearing a child to reach their full potential. This chapter also explained that “Parents can actively help their children develop positive traits or overcome undesirable tendencies. Children will be most open to instruction when they feel loved and accepted by their parents. Parents must also provide significant instruction in the morals and values that a child must learn in order to effectively self-regulate. Learning occurs depending on parent’s behavior…” (Alan J. Hawkins, 2012). The Active Parenting approach along with the Proclamation keeps children close to the Church and gospel principles as they are raised in a righteous home by parents who love them.

My mom was very diligent in holding a Family Home Evening every Monday night. In mine and my sister’s adolescent stage, my mom got pretty discouraged about holding these meetings every week because we wouldn’t listen to her lessons. She knew that it was important to have that time as a family and would come prepared to teach us and share her testimony, but it seemed like it wasn’t making a difference. Regardless of her feelings, she continued to follow the Spirit and hold Family Home Evening every week. At the time, I definitely wanted to be hanging with my friends rather than sitting as a family and learning about the gospel, but because my mom stuck with it and continued holding these meetings, I was inspired by my mother’s example and diligence and would often leave the meeting wanting to learn about the gospel for myself. Once FHE was over, I would go straight to my room, shut the door, and write in my journal about what my mom had taught me. I wanted to pray and read my scriptures more to learn about the cool stuff my mom was teaching us about. I didn’t show my interest in her words as she spoke during family night, and often would disengage myself from the conversation, but I was present and listening despite my appearance and attitude. My mom didn’t realize it, but she was making a big impact on my life. Our Family Home Evenings definitely made a difference in my life and today hold my fondest memories of hearing my mom’s testimony. Practicing does make a difference.

I challenge all parents to continue practicing gospel principles in their homes even if it seems like it’s not making a difference in their children’s lives. I promise you it does. Remember that parents may run into problems when they practice this active approach some of the time and fall into a coercive approach when parenting gets hard. This drives the spirit away and confuses the child. They need to feel your love and know that you are actively there for them even when times are hard. “Permissive or uninvolved/disengaged parents who do not actively teach their children or confront them when they act inappropriately may find that their children will not learn important principles or learn to exercise proper self-governance” (Alan J. Hawkins, 2012). I encourage you moms and dads out there to think about some ways that you can more actively apply the proclamation principles into your parenting while continuing to show your children that you love them.

I made this Family Home Evening board for my family. It shows who in our family is in charge of doing each activity for the meeting. It’s magnetic so that my daughter can easily put the names in the proper places. I plan on practicing gospel principles in my family and hope to be as diligent in holding Family Home Evenings as my mother was.

*This post is all in reference to Chapter 11 of Successful Marriages and Families: Proclamation Principles and Research Perspectives, by Alan J. Hawkins, David C. Dollahite, and Thomas W. Draper (2012).

Additional Resources:

“The Importance of the Family” by L. Tom Perry 

“Family Home Evening” by James A. Cullimore

“Courageous Parenting” by Larry R. Lawrence

Foundational Processes for an Enduring, Healthy Marriage

“Husband and wife have a solemn responsibility to love and care for each other.”

There is a lot one can do to strengthen their marriage. I don’t have all the answers, but after reading a few books on the subject I want to offer up some great suggestions.

In the book The Seven Principles for Making Marriage Work, John Gottman talks about how important it is to maintain a strong friendship with your spouse. He tells us what he means by friendship in marriage when he says, “I mean a mutual respect for and enjoyment of each other’s company” (pg.19). I too feel that friendships are important in marriage because it brings closeness to the relationship where the couple knows each other’s personality, likes/dislikes, and dreams. In a relationship such as this, a couple would care for each other continually and would want to spend time together, work through problems, and find mutual happiness in their marriage.

In a marriage, husband and wife need to constantly build their relationship one step at a time. They need to give their marriage continual attention and work on it daily to give it the love it needs to grow. Working on communication skills and striving to follow the principles of the gospel can help each person give 100% to their spouse.

Every marriage needs unity to thrive. The way to find unity in marriage is to strive to come unto Christ. As each individual improves their relationship with God, the couple will become united together. This can be illustrated as a triangle with God at the peak and the husband and wife on the bottom corners. God can help every marriage become more united.

As I come unto Christ and strive to be more like Him every day, I will come closer not only to Him, but also to my husband. I can strengthen my marriage by living gospel principles and striving to be the best person I can be. I have learned that in order to draw heaven into a marriage, the individuals in the marriage need to rid themselves of the “natural man” and be born again in Christ. As each individual comes closer to their Savior, they will draw closer to each other which will allow them to overcome challenges in their marriage. In the book Drawing Heaven into Your Marriage, the author states that he believes “the key to a healthy relationship is being a healthy, saintly, God-seeking person- to be born again- to be a new creature in Christ”. A person can change their nature by heeding to the Spirit and living in a way that reflects Christ’s character; being like the scripture says, “Submissive, meek, humble, patient, full of love, willing to submit to all things which the Lord seeth fit…” (Mosiah 3:19).

I have learned that the only way to overcome our natural selves is to be converted in the Gospel of Jesus Christ and live in a way which reflects what we sincerely believe and have been taught through Christ’s example. Having a successful marriage to me means that both individuals in the marriage do their part in strengthening their relationship with their Savior. As they do the couple will build a stronger bond with each other. Marriage is ordained of God. He is the one who can help us overcome the natural man in our life so that we can become like Him. 

To overcome our natural selves, we need to rid ourselves of pride. Pride is the opposite of unity. It tears couples apart and pulls them away from God. Pride can so easily work itself into our lives in so many ways unless we are constantly working towards bettering ourselves and uplifting others.

President Benson said that pride is “manifest in so many ways, such as faultfinding, gossiping, backbiting, murmuring, living beyond our means, envying, coveting, withholding gratitude, and praise that might lift another, and being unforgiving and jealous”. Contention and selfishness is another way pride works its way into a marriage. Sometimes couples compete with each other. They have the attitude of “I’m right and you’re wrong” instead of finding unity.

President Benson said, “In the scriptures there is no such thing as righteous pride. It is always considered as a sin. We are not speaking of a wholesome view of self-worth which is established by a close relationship with God. But we are speaking of pride as the universal sin…Essentially, pride is a ‘my will’ rather than ‘thy will’ approach to life…Pride does not look up to God and care about what is right. It looks sideways to man and argues who is right…To the proud, the applause of the world rings in their ears; to the humble, the applause of heaven warms their hearts.”

Reading this quote reminds me that pride is the universal sin- everyone on Earth struggles with it. It’s something that we need to constantly be fighting against inside ourselves so that we don’t become accustom to it. I like the imagery in this quote when it says that those who are prideful look “sideways” rather than looking up to God. Pride causes one to regress rather than progress. Satan cannot get to you if you are living righteously. I have found that the little things can cause the most damage in a relationship and can take the most work to get rid of. For me I need to constantly keep my thoughts in check so that I don’t let feelings of contention, ingratitude, defensiveness, selfishness or any other affect my behavior or attitude.

Another thing that can heal a relationship and allow growth in marriage is forgiveness. Orson F. Whitney said, “We are required to forgive all men, for our own sakes, since hatred retards spiritual growth”. In order for us to progress in our marriage, we need to have a forgiving heart. It’s hard for God to bless our marriage when one or both of us is holding a grudge against the other and won’t forgive. To have the Spirit in the home, one needs to be forgiving and have a pure heart; a heart that isn’t filled with hate or anger, but that’s full of humility and love. We need to understand that everyone makes mistakes, including ourselves, and we need to forgive if we expect to be forgiven for our mishaps.

President Hinckley said, “I have witnessed much of the best and much of the worst in marriage…Faultfinding replaces praise. When we look for the worst in anyone, we will find it. But if we will concentrate on the best, that element will grow until it sparkles”.

I have found in my marriage that when my husband and I both turn toward Christ and strive to follow in his footsteps, we come closer together and have a greater love for each other. Faith in Christ reminds us to keep an eternal perspective which helps us remember the sanctity of our marriage and what we are to become. It also draws our minds back on the Atonement which helps me remember that through Christ I can repent and be better as well as forgive and love harder.

Having an eternal perspective helps me to remember my divine nature and know that I can one day live with Heavenly Father again with my eternal family. With that in mind I can strive to develop those Christ-like qualities and characteristics that will help me become who I want to be. Doing so will help me be the best spouse I can be which will improve my marriage. 

Brigham Young said, “There is not a single condition of life that is entirely unnecessary; there is not one hour’s experience but what is beneficial to all those who make it their study, and aim to improve upon the experience they gain”. I know my marriage will come with many bumps and bruises, but as I encounter them with faith and trust in Christ, they will only strengthen our bond and my testimony. Life’s experiences build our character and help us find joy in our journey. I feel very prepared to live my life alongside my husband going forward with faith, but I can always do more to prepare.

For this topic, I chose to create a decoration for my home that reminds me to be the very best spouse I can be. I hang it up high where I can easily see it throughout the day. I painted Gordon B. Hinckley’s 6 B’s onto it. They include:

1.      Be Grateful

2.      Be Smart

3.      Be Clean

4.      Be True

5.      Be Humble

6.      Be Prayerful

By “Being” these things every day, I will come closer to Heavenly Father and my spouse. These things will invite the Spirit and help me keep my marriage strong. To read the wonderful talk where Gordon B. Hinckley introduced these 6 B’s click HERE.

*This post is all in reference to Chapter 3 of Successful Marriages and Families: Proclamation Principles and Research Perspectives, by Alan J. Hawkins, David C. Dollahite, and Thomas W. Draper (2012) and Drawing Heaven into Your Marriage, by H. Wallace Goddard (2009).

Additional Resources:

I encourage all to read

·         Drawing Heaven into Your Marriage by H. Wallace Goddard (2009)

·         The Seven Principles for Making Marriage Work by John Gottman (1999).

       ·        “Beware of Pride” by Ezra Taft Benson  

Faith in Family Life

“Successful marriages and families are established and maintained on principles of faith [and] prayer.”

We all at times get overwhelmed and burdened by life’s challenges and experiences. Relationships within the family are tried and tested as well as individual beliefs. Our Savior, Jesus Christ, gives us purpose and joy as we lift our eyes from worldly struggles and look to God. Faith in Christ turns a family toward God in times of trial allowing Him to heal them and change their nature.  It also brings an eternal perspective.

Ezra Taft Benson said, “When we put God first, all other things fall into their proper place or drop out of our lives. Our love of the Lord will govern the claims for our affection, the demands on our time, the interests we pursue, and the order of our priorities. We should put God ahead of everyone else in our lives”. Making God our number one priority and focus in our life allows everything else to fall into place. When we build our home and our family with God as our foundation, everything therein will thrive, finding progression and growth. President Howard W. Hunter taught us that “whatever Jesus lays his hands upon lives. If Jesus lays his hands upon a marriage, it lives. If he is allowed to lay his hands on the family, it lives”.

Faith is the foundation of belief. It’s the foundation of all growth. It’s the foundation in which strong relationships are built (Goddard, 2009). God can repair homes and families no matter how deep the tear. When they have gone through great challenges and disappointments, they can turn to Him and find peace and hope for a better future. We cannot have great families without Christ’s participation. By inviting the Savior into our lives and exercising our faith in Him, we can strengthen our family unit and find eternal happiness which only comes through Him.

God wants us to have strong relationships in the family. The best thing we can do to improve our family relationships is to have faith in God and to love one another. “The best-kept secret in this world is that troubled, painful relationships can become both satisfying and growth-promoting as we fill ourselves with faith in God and love for His purposes” (Goddard, 2009).

 “When we have vibrant faith in the Lord Jesus Christ, we know that the irritations and challenges of marriage are blessings intended to develop our character…As we turn from the ways of the natural man to the ways of Christ, we will respond to our challenges differently. Instead of judging our partner, we will invite Christ to soften our hearts and fill us with goodness. No challenges or differences in [the family] can thwart the work of God-given charity” (Goddard, 2009).

Faith in our Savior Jesus Christ means that we trust God and His work to rescue our family just as He is working to rescue us. Having faith means trusting His progress with our family. “The more we trust God’s purpose in perfecting our [family] (and don’t try to take over the job ourselves), the more we all progress” (Goddard, 2009).

We can exercise our faith in our family by practicing prayer, scripture study, rituals, traditions, or any religiously grounded principle in our home. These things will invite the Spirit and unite your family in purpose and love. Practice in this sense does bring one closer to being perfect by bringing them closer to Christ.

I put together some of my favorite pictures of Christ around The Living Christ and framed it. I made this decoration to bring the focus of Christ into my home and to remind me to always have faith in Him.

*This post is all in reference to Chapter 18 of Successful Marriages and Families: Proclamation Principles and Research Perspectives, by Alan J. Hawkins, David C. Dollahite, and Thomas W. Draper (2012) and Drawing Heaven into Your Marriage, by H. Wallace Goddard (2009).

For additional sources:

Finding Faith in Christ Video

Faith in Christ questions and answers

Trusting the Lord Video

Prayer

Wholesome Family Recreation: Building Strong Families

“Successful marriages and families are established and maintained on principles of faith, prayer, repentance, forgiveness, respect, love, compassion, work, and wholesome recreational activities.”

My family is big on boating. My parents taught my siblings and I how to waterski at the age of two. This is my favorite activity that my family did together because it built up my confidence, taught me to keep working toward my goal even when I fail so many times, and showed me that my family would always be there to support me and cheer me on. The first time I tried slalom skiing, I would get so discouraged when I couldn’t get up. It took me so many tries, but as soon as the boat would turn around to pick me up, I would see my family's smiling faces and hear their words of encouragement that made me want to keep trying. This is what comes to mind when I think of when I think of wholesome family recreation.

The best times that I’ve had with my family have come as we all put away our material possessions and just enjoyed our time together. I have so many memories of my family bonding during road trips, camping, family reunions, biking, playing in the snow, working, cooking, serving others, swimming, participating in family traditions, and traveling. In these moments I felt unified as a family and could feel the love that each member had for me. Family should be on the top of one’s priority list. They are what is most important in the world and should be given the most time.

An individual shouldn’t constantly participate in activities that take them away from their spouse or family. To be unified as a family and strengthen relationships, a person needs to dedicate quality time with their family and creating memorable experiences. “Joint activities strengthen relationships by promoting interaction, communication, and cooperation” (Alan J. Hawkins, 2012). We all have our individual interests, but I find it important to have hobbies that involve the whole family where each member can participate and feel included. “The components to wholesome recreation include opportunities to verbally communicate, develop skills, face challenges, create memories, share traditions and beliefs, and spend time together in the family setting” (Alan J. Hopkins, 2012). Activities within the family are great times where parents can model good behavior for their children. It’s a time to live the principles you have been teaching your children. This is a great way to support your children’s efforts in living the gospel and stand by them as you all engage in healthy, wholesome activities.

Time management is something that every family can work on to improve. Families need to be wise in the time they spend connected to technology and the media. Those things are time suckers and direct people away from their families. With all the fun aps and internet sites around, our mind can quickly get pulled in a million different directions and before we know it, the day is over and we think, “What have I done today?”  We need to be living in reality and not the virtual world that surrounds us. “Thou shalt not idle away thy time, neither shalt thou bury thy talent that it may not be known” (D&C 60:13). When we connect to technology, we are disconnecting ourselves from the relationships that matter. We also need to be careful that we are not over scheduling our time.  Becoming too busy takes away time spent as a family, adds stress to the family, and reduces opportunities for strengthening relationships. I suggest that when you find yourself with free time, put aside all distractions and go spend time with your family. That time will not be wasted. Elder Oaks says that “Parents should act to preserve time for family prayer, family scripture study, family home evening, and the other precious togetherness and individual one-on-one time that binds a family together and fixes children’s values on things of eternal worth”.

We need to use our free time wisely. “Our free time should be used wisely to create the best possible life, to promote individual growth and strengthen families. Meaningful recreation does not just happen; it must be prepared for, cultivated, and privately defended.” (Alan J. Hawkins, 2012) It’s important to be proactive in our free time rather than idly wasting it away. It’s okay to relax now and then, but active activities promote growth in the family by acquiring new skills, memories, relationships, and more. Wholesome recreational activities help strengthen families by strengthening relationships, improving the quality of life, and making the most of our time.

I made these building blocks for my daughter to play with to stand as a reminder of the principles that our family is founded and built upon. By living these principles in our home, our family can be happy. These principles are “faith, prayer, repentance, forgiveness, respect, love, compassion, work, and wholesome recreational activities” (The Family: A Proclamation to the World). Families are the “building blocks” of society and can be strengthened as they practice these divine principles of the Gospel of Jesus Christ.

*This post is all in reference to Chapter 22 of Successful Marriages and Families: Proclamation Principles and Research Perspectives, by Alan J. Hawkins, David C. Dollahite, and Thomas W. Draper (2012).

Additional Resources:

Work and Self-Reliance

Play together, Stay together  

Today’s Family: Choose Wholesome Recreation

Things as they Really Are, by Elder Bednar

The Meanings and Blessings of Family Work

“Successful marriages and families are established and maintained on principles of… work.”

Today we see how parents are so eager to find success in their work and careers outside the home, but neglect the work they need to be doing in the home. Have so many people forgotten that the most important work we will ever do will be within the walls of our own home? (Harold B. Lee) The Family: A Proclamation to the World says that providing for the physical needs of children is a “sacred duty” and that work is one of the important principles upon which “successful marriages and families are established and maintained”. Caring for a spouse and children is a “solemn responsibility”. The greatest joy we will experience in life will come from our families, but to get that joy, we need to be working to strengthen our families.

Work brings a family closer together. It bonds family members as they experience and learn together in a good environment. “Ordinary household work that is often considered a waste of time can be a time of closeness and fun that strengthens family bonds and develops Christlike virtues…Family work provides endless opportunities to recognize and fill others’ needs. It thus teaches us to love and serve one another, inviting us to be like Jesus Christ” (Alan J. Hawkins, 2012).

I have four sisters in my family and we always had to work together in our home as we were given tasks to complete. From raking leaves in our yard to building a swing set for a family in need, my sisters and I learned how to cooperate and work as a team. Those shared experiences definitely strengthened our relationships and in those moments our love for each other grew. “When family members work together in the right spirit, a foundation of caring and commitment grows out of their shared experience” (Alan J. Hawkins, 2012). Working has helped me build relationships, not just with my family members, but with those around me as I have worked and served beside them. It has taught me the value of service and has helped me realize that I find the most joy in life when I’m serving others. Growing up with responsibilities has helped me learn forgiveness, love, compassion, unity, teamwork, compromise, and patience. “Family work provides endless opportunities to recognize and fill others’ needs. It thus teaches us to love and serve one another, inviting us to be like Jesus Christ” (Alan J. Hawkins, 2012).

Elder Neal A. Maxwell observed, “The divine attributes of love, mercy, patience, submissiveness, meekness, purity…cannot be developed in the abstract. These require the clinical experiences… Nor can these attributes be developed in a hurry”. My husband shares how he developed these divine attributes through his family experience: 

My mother became terminally ill with a rare disease while I was about 12 years old.  By the age of 16, it was bad enough that we moved to a new place so that we could accommodate my mother’s illness. A year after that my mother’s health became so bad that she required constant help, in doing all things.  As a 17 year old in high school, I was helping my mother go to the bathroom, brushing her teeth, giving sponge baths, and carrying her everywhere we went.  By the end of her life, about 3 months after I was 17, she became so sick that she couldn’t move at all. Her disease had run the full course and she had paralysis of her entire body.  She could only moan to speak, and her eyes were the main source of conversation.  The moan would get our attention and then she would look at what she needed.  During this time of my life, I found out what love was.  As I served her every need, I felt the love of service building deep into my roots.  My mother spent much of my early life teaching me to do many things.  She taught me math and science, how to read, and to choose right from wrong.  At the end she taught me more about life then she will ever know.  I learned to tell the difference between wants and needs, I learned to love and serve, and I learned how important the family really is as we all sustained one another.  My mother’s parting gift was to tie my family together and help us understand the concept of our eternal family.

 Through my husband’s experience, although difficult to go through, his character was strengthened by developing the divine attributes Elder Maxwell talked about: Love, patience, mercy, submissiveness, meekness, and purity. Family work truly shapes us toward divinity. 

I believe that work can be rewarding and build family relationships. My parents were big believers of this. They definitely taught me the value of work. It’s true that we are always teaching by example. Our kids are always watching and will learn from our behavior and attitude. I think it’s important to know the value of hard work even as a child. In this life we are actively working toward becoming the person we want to be, so work is an important principle to learn. I like the word proactive.  I find it interesting that when you look up this word in the dictionary it says it means to be in control of a situation or occurrence. When we are active in our lives—active in the gospel, in our families, church, community, work, etc… we are in control. When we let go and lose ourselves, we allow Satan to gain control over us and soon we find that we are following him and falling away from God. I feel bad for those who don’t learn of the value of work in their early years because it’s a major wake-up call later in life when they see how much work they actually need to do to achieve anything.

We always need to be active in our life because when we are working, we are learning, experiencing, and growing our character. When you know the value of hard work, you appreciate so much more in life. You know how to work for something you want and then find the joys in the accomplishment from those things. Little actions and pieces of work may not look important close up, but as one stands back and looks at their works as a whole, they can see the picture they’ve created of who they are and how they’ve chosen to live their life. Our works define us.

Growing up, I have many memories of my mother teaching my sisters and I how to cook. We would work together to make dinner, set the table, and gather the family to enjoy a meal as a family each night. I have adopted my mother’s love for cooking and look forward to the time that I can teach my children how to cook. When my grandmother passed away I inherited her recipes, many of which were her mothers. I decided to make a recipe book of my own and add all her recipes into it so I can give it to my daughter someday. 

*This post is all in reference to Chapter 21 of Successful Marriages and Families: Proclamation Principles and Research Perspectives, by Alan J. Hawkins, David C. Dollahite, and Thomas W. Draper (2012).

Additional Resources:

Teachings from the Prophets

Family Work, by Kathleen Slaugh Bahr and Cheri A. Loveless

One for the Money, by Marvin J. Ashton

LDS Family Services and Defending the Sanctity of Human Life

“We affirm the sanctity of life and its importance in God’s eternal plan... Children are entitled to birth within the bonds of matrimony, and to be reared by a father and a mother who honor marital vows with complete fidelity.”

The First Presidency of the Church said, “Adoption is an unselfish, loving decision that blesses the child, birth parents, and adoptive parents in this life and throughout the eternities. We commend all those who strengthen children and families by promoting adoption”. With the family being the central unit in God’s plan, it makes sense that the Church would provide a way to create and sustain even more righteous families. The Church is there to support all its members, even when they make mistakes and find themselves in difficult situations.

Joseph F. Smith said, “Every soul is precious in the sight of God…the Lord has placed the responsibility upon all parents in the Church to teach their children in light and truth. He has placed the obligation upon all parents that they must teach the first principles of the Gospel to their children, teach them to pray, and see that they are baptized when they are eight years of age. Parents cannot shirk or neglect this great responsibility without incurring the displeasure of a righteous God. He has not relinquished his claim upon his children when they are born into this world and therefore commands parents to teach their offspring so that they may be brought up in the truth of the everlasting Gospel. For parents to fail to do this places them in condemnation and the sin of such neglect will have to be answered with punishment on their own heads. This is the law unto Zion and all of her stakes”.

This quote goes along with the Proclamation in saying that “Children are entitled to birth within the bonds of matrimony, and to be reared by a father and mother who honor marital vows with complete fidelity”.

When couples become parents, they become accountable for their children and have the responsibly of teaching them correct principles.   Some young people, having grown up in the Gospel, find themselves pregnant and not ready to start a family. They want all the wonderful blessings of the Gospel to be with their child, but cannot give it to them themselves. They want their child to grow up in a righteous home with parents who will love, support, and teach them. LDS Family Services provides a great selection of married LDS couples who have been eagerly waiting for their chance to become parents. A mother would know that her child would be taken care of and would be raised in a stable family by using this service.

On the other hand, there are married couples who have the righteous desire to have children, but are unable to. Adopting a child is expensive and often has an extreme waiting period. For those LDS couples, LDS Family Services offers the perfect start in the adoption process.

These services also provide a better option for those women who are conflicted in their decision on what to do with their unplanned pregnancy. “When a life is created by sinful behavior, the best way to begin personal repentance is to preserve the life of that child” (Russell M. Nelson). Providing this service makes the option of adoption over abortion easier to make because it’s free, there’s people offering their support every step of the way, and there’s a peace of mind that comes from giving life and knowing the child will have parents who love them.

I personally know people who have both given their children and who have adopted children through LDS Family Services. They have seen the blessings that have come through creating, giving, and accepting life and have found happiness by being sealed to their family in the temple. God has a plan for all of us to have a family, and for some, this is the way to do it.

The Gospel of Jesus Christ explains that life is a crucial step in God’s eternal plan. It is sacred. Each body reflects the divine image of our God (Genesis1:26-27, Moses 2:27). Elder Lynn A. Mickelson stated that, “Human life is the precious stepping-stone to eternal life, and we must jealously guard it from the moment of conception”. Every life is a gift from God and no matter how small, has a divine nature and destiny. “We do know that our Eternal Father…lives in the family unit. We do know that we are his children, created in his image, endowed with power and ability to become like him” (Bruce R. McConkie).

A statement given by The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints in 1997 declared, “We deplore the practice of partial-birth abortion which destroys innocent life, and we condemn and oppose it as one of the most revolting and sinful practices of our day. It is abhorrent to God and is fundamentally contrary to his injunction, ‘Thou shalt not kill…nor do anything like unto it (D&C 59:6)”.

I created this family board to celebrate my family. Within are lots of individual pictures and memories of my family which has brought me so much happiness in life. Every time I see the word “family” I am overcome with gratitude for mine. They are my biggest support in life and mean the world to me. I am so grateful for my life and the life of all those around me. It is a sacred gift that I cherish. I am grateful for the services provided by the Church which allow families to grow and provide a better way for mothers to seek support in their decision to give life. 

“The family is the most important organization in time or in eternity. Our purpose in life is to create for ourselves eternal family units.” –President Joseph Fielding Smith

*This post is all in reference to Chapters 15 and 27 of Successful Marriages and Families: Proclamation Principles and Research Perspectives, by Alan J. Hawkins, David C. Dollahite, and Thomas W. Draper (2012).

Additional Resources:
The Sanctity of Life, by James E. Faust
Abortion: An Assault on the Defenseless, by Elder Russell M. Nelson