“In the premortal realm, spirit sons and
daughters…accepted [God’s] plan by which his children could obtain a physical
body and gain earthy experience to progress toward perfection…. The divine plan
of happiness enables family relationships to be perpetuated beyond the grave.”
“Profound loss is associated with
suffering and comes in many forms: illness as loss of health, disability as
loss of independence, infertility as loss of hope of having a child, and
bereavement as the mortal loss of a loved one in death. Though these
experiences are physical, their influence extends far beyond the temporal
aspects of our lives” (Alan J. Hawkins, 2012). These experiences are referred
to as “crucibles” of human experience.
“The crucible is a metaphor for
life-changing challenges, adversities, and losses that have a refining effect
on a person or an entire family. Crucible experiences have the potential to
change how we view ourselves, our relationships with others, and our
relationship with God, thus transforming our very natures. The Lord’s prophets
have called such experiences the refiner’s fire” (Alan J. Hawkins, 2012). President
James E. Faust said:
Into every life there come the painful,
despairing days of adversity and buffeting. There seems to be a full measure of
anguish, sorrow, and often heartbreak for everyone, including those who
earnestly seek to do right and be faithful. The thorns that prick, that stick
in the flesh, that hurt, often change lives which seem robbed of significance
and hope. This change comes about through a refining process which often seems
cruel and hard. In this way the soul can become like soft clay in the hands of
the Master in building lives of faith, usefulness, beauty, and strength. For
some, the refiner’s fire causes a loss of belief and faith in God, but those
with eternal perspective understand that such refining is part of the
perfection process.
In the Pearl of Great Price we are
taught that there must be opposition in all things so that man can “taste the
bitter, that they may know to prize the good” (Moses 6:55). Bruce C. Hafen
further explained:
Somehow, our
joyful experiences mean more when we are fully conscious of the alternatives
and the contrast that surround us. We prize the sweet more when we have tasted
the bitter. We appreciate our health when we see sickness….These contrasts do
not deter our idealism. Properly understood, they only make the moments of the
true joy worth waiting for.
Trials, challenges, and adversities are
unavoidable parts of mortal life, but they can become crucibles in which the
experience has the ability to transform a person and their family. It can
enhance their relationships, gratitude, faith, knowledge, and more. Our perspective
and attitude in times of trial determines how adversity affects our life and
how we will respond to such situations. Challenges in life become opportunities
for growth and strength and have the potential to positively change a person
when they go forward with faith. Ezra Taft Benson said:
We all have our
difficulties, our problems, our reversals. "Whom the Lord loveth He chasteneth" (Heb. 12:6). It is in the depths that men and women learn the lessons that help
to build strong men and women, not at the pinnacle of success. In the hour of a
man’s success is his greatest danger. It sometimes takes a reversal to make us appreciate
our blessings and to develop us into strong, courageous characters. We can meet
every reversal that can possibly come with the help of the Lord. Every reversal
can be turned to our benefit and blessing and can make us stronger, more
courageous, more godlike.
One night last year my dad stopped breathing
in his sleep. My mom noticed right away and started performing CPR. A
few minutes later the paramedics arrived and performed CPR for 30 minutes
before my dad’s heart started up again. As a result of this, my dad was placed
in a medical induced coma and my family was told by the doctors that the
chances of him waking up were next to none. This unexpected situation was
a major family struggle as we were all trying to keep our emotions under
control and find ways to travel back home to be together. It was a definite
trial of our faith where we understood that God had a plan for our family and had to trust in His ways and be willing to accept it no matter what.
This acceptance of God’s plan didn't come easily
for me. I of course wanted my dad to live and couldn't comprehend why in the
world this was happening to my family, nor did I want to. As I knelt down and
prayed after hearing the news about my dad, I asked God to help me know that he
would live. Instead I had a sincere impression in my heart that I needed to be
willing to accept the plan God had for me and my family no matter what that
included. He would help me get through this challenge and learn from it if I allowed
him to.
This crucible really brought my family together
as we turned toward one another in this time of need. We leaned on each other
for support and depended on the faith and prayers of our family members and the
community. We had good attitudes and were able to think of and give our dad,
family members, and friends our support instead of thinking of ourselves. With
priesthood blessings, many prayers, fasting, and the faith and service of
others, we received the strength and hope we needed to overcome this challenge
no matter the outcome.
This crisis turned out very positively. Words
cannot express the feelings I felt when I saw my dad’s eyes open for the first
time and then a few days later when he said my name and gave me a kiss. My dad
miraculously woke from his coma, started breathing on his own, and after a few weeks
of rehab, made a full recovery despite the fact that all the odds were against
him! No one can tell that he ever went through such an experience when they see
him today. We are so blessed to have my dad with us and to be so close as a family.
I know that as we experience any kind of
loss or affliction, the greatest sources of healing comes from the Gospel of
Jesus Christ and our families. I know that God tests us so that he can mold us
into the person we need to become and so that we will be prepared to enter into
His kingdom. I know that He never leaves us alone to bear our burdens, but
wants us to come unto Him so that He can help us (Matt 11:28-30). I take
comfort in knowing that He doesn't test me beyond what I’m able to bear. As
Neal A. Maxwell stated, “The Lord knows our bearing capacity, both as to coping
and to comprehending, and He will not give us more to bear than we can manage
at the moment, though to us it may seem otherwise. (See D&C 50:40; 78:18.)”
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I found pictures of my husband’s mom,
Grandpa, Great Grandpa, Great Great Grandpa, and Great Great Great Grandpa and
put them in a frame together with a picture of my husband. This shows six
generations of wonderful family members. Although all but my husband are
deceased, we don’t mourn their death but celebrate their life. We know that death
is a necessary part of God’s plan and brings all one step closer to eternal
life. Bruce R. McConkie stated:
Our scriptures
say: “Death hath passed upon all men, to fulfill the merciful plan of the great
Creator.” (2 Nephi 9:6) Where the true Saints are concerned there is no sorrow
in death except that which attends a temporary separation from loved ones. Birth
and death are both essential steps in the unfolding drama of eternity. We shouted
for joy at the privilege of becoming mortal because without the test of
mortality there could be no eternal life. We now sing praises to the great
Redeemer for the privilege of passing from this life because without death and
the resurrection we could not be raised in immortal glory and gain eternal life…Now,
we do not seek death, though it is part of the merciful plan of the great
Creator. Rather, we rejoice in life, and desire to live as long as we can be of
service to our fellowmen. Faithful saints are a leaven of righteousness in a
wicked world. But sometimes the Lord’s people are hounded and persecuted. Sometimes
He deliberately lets His faithful saints linger and suffer, in both body and
spirit, to prove them in all things, and to see if they will abide in His
covenant, even unto death that they may be found worthy of eternal life. If such
be the lot of any of us, so be it.
*This post is all in
reference to Chapter 23 of Successful Marriages and Families: Proclamation
Principles and Research Perspectives, by Alan J. Hawkins, David C. Dollahite,
and Thomas W. Draper (2012).
Additional Resources:
Overcoming Adversity,
by Carlos H. Amado
To Be Healed,
by Richard G. Scott
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